Writing Project 3
Part 1
Script for Hasan Minhaj’s Opening Monologue to the 50th Anniversary of Star Wars – May 4th, 2027
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It is an absolute pleasure to be here tonight. Welcome everyone to the 50th anniversary of Star Wars! *Talk through applause* Yeah, I know. Can’t believe it’s been that long. But, you know who can believe it: Harrison Ford. Look at him. You can tell he has felt every second of those 50 years. The guy doesn’t look a day under 85. Oh man, he’s not going to forgive me for that one. He’s giving me the same glare that Clint Eastwood made in Gran Torino that made you question whether or not he was acting or just being himself in that movie. *Talk through laughter* It’s fine, don’t worry Harrison. I won’t be at the 50th anniversary of Indiana Jones. You know, the franchise he actually gives a shit about. But, no really, let’s give it up for Harrison Ford. A man who starred in two decade-defining trilogies that ushered in the age of the blockbuster. *Pause for applause* Who would have thought a ruggedly handsome white guy could make it so far in Hollywood? *Pause for laughter*
What’re you laughing at George? Look, you can tell he’s got a lot of money now. He’s got the same laugh every oil magnate has. It’s all belly. *Mimic laugh* Not that I blame him though, he’s earned that laugh. As you all know, he sold all the rights to Star Wars to the devil, sorry I mean Disney, for 4 billion dollars. *Pause for applause* To put that in perspective, adjusted for inflation, the Louisiana Purchase was less than one-tenth of that. I’m no expert on money, land, or history, George, but what I’m getting from that statistic is that if you were born in the 18th century, you could have bought North America. *Pause for laughter* Tough luck, I guess you’re just going to have to settle for mansions, private jets, and an endless supply of flannel shirts and Wrangler jeans instead.
Jokes aside, tonight is a celebration of what is ostensibly a simple tale for children, but one that remains relevant to our society after half a century. The fact that we have come together today speaks to Star Wars’ enduring legacy as a story worth telling and retelling.
It’s not surprising that audiences resonated with the story. George Lucas himself admitted that Star Wars did little more than adapt old myths and told them in a new way. He took the narrative structure of Joseph Campbell’s seminal ‘hero’s journey’ and combined them with cinematic conventions of earlier space operas and Akira Kurasawa’s samurai films. Some would say that what George Lucas did is derivative, but to them I would say, “shut up, not everything has to be new. I don’t need every piece of media to be original or a cynical existentialist thinkpiece on how the world is shitty.” *Pause for laughter* To some people, Star Wars may be an embarrassingly earnest homage to traditional fables, but it also stands as the most successful modern reimagining of the archetypal monomyth from the likes of King Arthur and Gilgamesh.
Stories like Star Wars give us a voice for our deeply-held ideals. Each of us sees a part of ourselves in Luke Skywalker. His goals and values are analogous to our own. We take pride in the discipline it takes to learn a new skill, which in Luke’s case was using the force. We also idolize his willingness to risk his life in a struggle that he believes in. And, we all hate nazis.
We do, right? Because if you don’t, well – one what are you doing here? And two, you should probably leave now because that is by far the least controversial statement I’m going to make tonight. *Pause if there is laughter/applause*
The empire are nazis by the way, if you didn’t notice. Well, technically they could be a stand-in for any evil authoritarian empire. But, I mean, have you seen Darth Vader? You can’t tell me that his cape and helmet aren’t designed by Hugo Boss. *Operator swaps to slide 1* *Pause for laughter*
(Below: Slide 1)
(Note: The image above is merely for reference purposes. Not to be used during speech)
George clearly wasn’t shy about putting explicit political parallels in his movies. I gotta say though, he might have benefited from being a little more shy. I don’t necessarily need to know the intricate details of the Banking Clan’s trade embargo in a movie about space wizards. But, that’s the prequels and, more importantly, besides the point. Luke’s fight against tyranny not only reflects our personal values but also mirrors America’s shared values stemming from its history as a nation that rebelled against the largest empire in the world. Nested deep inside a fantasy, Star Wars is effectively a retelling of our country’s founding: a part of our history where we sacrificed lives for the sake of freedom and democratic ideals. The irony is that we have also been on the other side of that story as the evil authoritarian empire.
Despite now having a net worth that rivals a Saudi prince, George used to be somewhat of a counterculture rebel himself. Star Wars was created partly as a response to the political and cultural tumult following the Vietnam War. It had the guts to explicitly celebrate the anti-authoritarian struggle of Vietnam against the American military, in the middle of the Cold War no less. The rebels practiced asymmetric warfare against an oppressive and overwhelmingly powerful threat to their self-determination. Gosh, I wonder what militant group George took inspiration from during the 1970s? *Pause if there is laughter* This was particularly poignant to an America struggling to reconcile its egalitarian ideals with its involvement in the Vietnam War, helping people to stop and think, “Wait, are we the bad guys?” *Pause if there is laughter*
America’s struggle with self-identity persists today. We would like to see America as somewhat analogous to the rebel alliance. We want to be the good guys, uphold democratic values, and “fight the good fight”. But, recently, our resemblance to the evil militarist empire has been pretty goddamn uncanny.
This is obviously a grossly reductionist take on American politics that disregards nuance, international relations, economic goals, history, yada yada yada. Of course, unlike the Empire, we haven’t used a false flag operation to instill paranoia and justify war. *Operator swaps to slide 2* No, wait, we did that in 2003 against Iraq.
(Below: Slide 2)
Okay, well, we haven’t centered our prison system wholly around a for-profit model that incentivizes high recidivism rates like the Empire did in Andor. *Operator swaps to slide 3* Wait, nope that’s exactly what we have.
(Below: Slide 3)
At least we’ve never indiscriminately bombed a civilian center to fulfill vague military objectives. *Operator swaps to slide 4* Never mind, that happened throughout the War on Terror.
(Below: Slide 4)
At least we don’t torture? *Operator swaps to slide 5* Nope.
(Below: Slide 5)
Use our military as an occupying force? *Operator swaps to slide 6*
(Below: Slide 6)
Subvert our population with intelligence and data-collecting agencies? *Operator swaps to slide 7*
(Below: Slide 7)
Suppress the democratic process to prop up an autocrat? *Operator swaps to slide 8*
(Below: Slide 8)
Shit. Alright, maybe America’s parallels to the Empire unfortunately still hits a little too close to home. *Take a beat*
Of course, Star Wars can still be enjoyed solely as a piece of entertainment. The Star Wars universe has a masterfully crafted setting that has captured the imagination of children for decades and keeps us nerds coming back to it again and again. It almost makes you forget about how campy the dialogue is throughout all the movies. *Talk through even if there is laughter* But the one thing that’s overlooked in the larger societal conversations surrounding Star Wars, which I’ve tried to hit on tonight, is its significance as a piece of social commentary. Too often, nowadays, we focus on the nitty-gritty of Star Wars’ narrative or stylistic choices — why this person has a differently colored lightsaber or whether this child actor was worse than this other child actor. This discourse is fine, but it can distract from the political message the movies are trying to get across. It’s the substance that gives Star Wars some extra depth and why audiences have had such a positive reaction to more intellectually stimulating projects in recent years, such as Andor. As much as I love the fantastical world-building of the Star Wars universe, I also love lines like, “So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause”. I still find it incredibly profound and it’s unironically one of my favorite pieces of dialogue in all of cinema and it came from Padme Amidala in Revenge of the Sith of all places! *Pause if there is laughter/applause* Most art is inherently political and Star Wars is no exception. Its ultimate goal from its inception was to take the meat and potatoes of what our society values and try to pass it on to the next generation by repackaging old myths we used to be familiar with.
As we commemorate the 50th anniversary of Star Wars, let us remember that we are not just celebrating a series of films, but a cultural phenomenon that has struck a chord within the hearts and minds of people across the world. Star Wars is more than just entertainment; it's a quintessential modern cultural myth that we can find something of ourselves reflected. Whether you're an overly analytical political commentator who takes the films a little too seriously or someone who simply appreciates the films for their groundbreaking effects and storytelling, there is no denying the impact these movies have had on our collective consciousness. (Note: For emphasis, pause whenever there is applause or laughter during this segment. Continue when appropriate.)
Tonight, we honor the creators, the actors, and most importantly, the enduring community of fans that have kept the spirit of Star Wars alive for a half-century. But, as we look towards the future, we are reminded that the journey of Star Wars is far from over. With new stories on the horizon, albeit from Disney, we are still on the brink of new discoveries and adventures in this galaxy far, far away. So, here's to the next 50 years of Star Wars. May the Force be with us, always.
*Talk through applause* I’ve been Hasan Minhaj! Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the evening!
Part 2
I’ve been watching stand-up comedy since I was ten years old and I’ve always admired comics who could repackage political commentary in a manner that was entertaining and digestible to a wide audience. What I’ve written in part one is a script for an opening monologue using the voice of Hasan Minhaj, a politically oriented stand-up comedian who has worked on The Daily Show and who used to have his own Netflix show satirizing current events. Minhaj has also been a guest speaker at the White House correspondent’s dinner. From my early planning stages, his monologues and comedy sets quickly became the blueprint for the genre I was to write in. In these, he would often incorporate topics of culture and politics similar to what I had previously researched. His delivery is also energetic and youthful, which fits the speech as I envision it in my head.
I knew I wanted to write about my topic with a comedic flair but still found it difficult to express it in an appropriate medium. For example, a tight 5-minute stand-up set for a random comedy show didn’t seem deliberate enough. I didn’t find it believable that a comic would espouse a diatribe about the politics of Star Wars, however comedic, to a general audience that isn’t inherently familiar with Star Wars and likely wouldn’t care as a result.
I needed to find an inciting incident that would warrant a monologue about Star Wars, myths, and politics in a way that didn’t seem forced. I watched speeches made during George Lucas’ 2005 AFI Lifetime Achievement Ceremony that celebrated and talked about Star Wars. I then combined the celebratory tone and content of these speeches with the structure found in comedic opening monologues from Hasan Minhaj’s body of work, especially the one during his White House Correspondents speech. Finally, I made up a hypothetical ceremony that would have a comedic opening monologue from a host as well as a built-in audience intimately familiar with Star Wars. So, by creating a situation that motivated my speaker to celebrate Star Wars in a medium that could incorporate politics and humor, I was able to organically weave my somewhat esoteric ideas into a speech that I could then deliver to a relevant audience.
Another thing to note about the audience is that while the speech may only be given live to the few hundred members in attendance at this event, it’s likely that it would later be spread to a wider audience online. This isn’t an audience I am directly trying to address, but it does mean that there is another and equally important audience that will engage with my work. After all, I took a lot of inspiration from speeches and comedy clips that I found on YouTube. The online audience may not be as well-versed in Star Wars as the many people in the live audience who were involved with the production. However, there are die-hard Star Wars fans who may appreciate the message I made and hold the movies to the same level of reverence that I do.
Additionally, I thought it was important to include George Lucas in the monologue. Addressing him in the second person lent some credibility to the assertions I made about his intentions when creating Star Wars as if he was implicitly agreeing with me in the audience. Having Lucas in the audience also made the script more conversational and casual, which is typical of an opening monologue.
On the topic of genre conventions, I wanted the monologue to come off as authentic to similar source materials as much as I could. While I may not have the same comedic chops as Minhaj, I endeavored to splice in the occasional joke whenever it felt necessary to relieve the monologue from the more serious or cerebral points I made. To that end, I also began my text with a few paragraphs of scripted crowdwork that involved making fun of members of the audience. This is very common in opening monologues given to celebrities and politicians. Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globes monologue is famous for his uninterrupted criticism of Hollywood celebrities. Next, I punctuated the speech with pauses and other action notes to give a sense of pacing that could be lost through text alone. It makes the text itself read as more of a script to be performed rather than a standalone piece of writing such as an article or essay. Finally, the use of slides gives my monologue an added visual component. I borrowed this technique more from satirical shows such as Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update segment than any live spoken monologue. However, this technique of using pictures in the background of one’s live monologue is not unheard of. John Cena used it in his opening monologue at the ESPYs in 2016.
One discrepancy I did find between my text and most other conventional opening monologues is that mine is less humorous as a whole. Despite my repeated attempts at humor, a typical opening monologue is still much more casual and lighthearted. Even monologues from White House Correspondents Dinners prioritize the punchline over any political message the speaker may wish to deliver. But, given the nature of my topic and the assignment in general, I gave myself a bit of leeway when it came to genre conventions to better relay the information I researched for my topic. Functionally, however, the piece still works as an opening monologue to a ceremony because it too seeks to entertain the specific live audience in attendance and break the ice with humor before the rest of the evening begins.
I’m quite happy with how my exploration of this genre turned out. Though I did try to deviate as much as I could from my typical writing since college, it wasn’t an arbitrary choice to do so. I think I addressed a relevant audience with a proper motivation to discuss my chosen topic about Star Wars, politics, and cultural myths.